Friday, February 19, 2016

number three

The beginning of September will bring a new babe into the Wilkins' household! I'm nearing the end of the first trimester, and thankful that the queasiness and utter exhaustion seem to have taken a backseat. I'll be the first to admit that the surprise of that positive pregnancy test sent me into a state of shock for a week or two. Heck, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'll be a mom to THREE next fall. Isn't that something that's reserved for grown-ups?! And then I remember I'm turning 30 in a month. Crazy-town.

My 11-week belly has decided to masquerade as a 20 week belly for the time being. It's comical at times, but makes me realize I missed that belly more than I had thought. Also, maternity clothes are my best buds. 

We told Silas just a few days after we found out ourselves. We just couldn't keep it in. And oh boy, I wish we had recorded his reaction. It made me weep. Chris asked him if he liked being a big brother to Delia, and he responded, "Oh, I do!" And then we told him that he'd have another baby to be a big brother to in a few months. He started squealing in delight, clapping his hands, while grinning a smile bigger than his face even allowed. He's continued to be so excited-- asking to look at the pregnancy app on my phone to see how big the baby is growing, and he's positive that he's getting another sister. Delia is oblivious, but is obsessed with babies lately, so I think she'll approve of the new changes coming. 

The keyword for this first trimester has been grace. Grace, grace, grace. Grace to allow myself a few days to cry and mourn "my plans" while learning to accept new and beautiful ones that God has for us. Grace to take naps when I need them, and not worry that a little screen time is going to hurt the kids while I rest. Grace to let a cluttered house stay cluttered because I'm just too dang tired to do one more thing at the end of the day. Grace to feel that fear of something going wrong, but choosing to soak in the comfort and reassurance of God's perfect plan no matter what happens. 

So here we go. Third time around. I don't know whether to laugh or cry, so most days, I just do both. Often at the same time.