Thursday, March 6, 2014

is motherhood a duty or a calling?

There are two little boys who make a ruckus at our small group Bible study on Wednesday mornings. One of them is mine, and so I don't always hear every word shared from my girl friends. But yesterday morning, one thing I heard has stuck in my heart like a burr. My friend said something along the lines of "I've had to make the choice to see motherhood as my calling and not my duty."


When she said this, a lightbulb went off in my head, and my heart lightened a little bit. The good majority of the "discussions" that Chris and I have had lately revolve around my struggle with the fact that I "never" get a break, and the fact that we both feel under-appreciated. You see, I know that being a mom (and a wife) are both roles that God's graciously given me, and I do honestly feel privileged to hold them. But up until this week, I've been allowing myself to view my day-to-day role as a duty and not a calling. 

A duty suggests that I have to take it on my shoulders alone, while God walks alongside me in my calling. 

A duty can be a heavy responsibility, while a calling allows for grace, truth, and plenty of mess-ups. 

To me, a duty says, "give me credit!" , while a calling says, "Thank you Lord!"



Silas is at a really fun age right now, soaking up words and concepts like a sponge. His personality is awesome and he is constantly singing, dancing and pretending. We had a dance party this morning to "The Bear Necessities", and you should have seen the kid's moves! These are the fun parts, and then there are the heavy parts-- the tantrums, the early mornings, the whining and the "I never get a break" parts. And those parts have been weighing me down so much, that by the end of the day, I forget all those fun and beautiful parts of our day together. Seeing my role as mom and wife as a calling that God has placed on my life doesn't mean that it's going to be easier, but it's a new perspective that allows me to accept the rich grace that comes along with the role. It allows me to see that He placed me in these roles with Purpose, not that they landed in my lap and I'm stuck here. 

Next week, I'm going to bring back my Little Things series. I won't be doing a link-up, because I post far too infrequently lately to commit to that, but I'd love for you to join along in the series. I started it several years ago during one of Chris' first deployments with the Navy and the goal was for me to see the beauty and the grace that God pours on my days, even in the midst of a tough season or day. Every time I start it up again, I spend those weeks seeing His hands on each little moment. So, I'm excited to bring it back! 

Off to enjoy a quiet lunch while the boy naps, and fingers crossed he'll sleep long enough for me to sneak up to the studio for a bit too! 

PS. That's him at 5 months in the picture above. Love that bald little noggin! 

14 comments:

  1. The word 'duty' sounds harsh to me... Motherhood to me is a privilege NOT a duty... It becomes a duty if the mother does not embrace the role and just goes thru the motions..On the other side, if we made the choice to enter motherhood, then yes, it is our responsibility to uphold that role.

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  2. I needed this reminder today! I love when God does this. I've never met you, I live states away from you and yet, He uses you and your words to help me with an issue that has been weighing me down.

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  3. This is good to remember as we'll have our little one joining us in June/July. I'll need to keep it in both my head and my heart that it isn't a solo responsibility, that there will be plenty of grace, truth and mess ups. This is what I just love about your posts Lindsay, the little reminders and open discussions to get us all thinking a bit!

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  4. So glad you shared your thoughts on this.

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  5. Love this - I needed to hear it :) Thanks for sharing!

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  6. You've given me a lot to think about. I feel like you plucked the "I never get a break" line straight from my lips. This is such a great post about perspective and motherhood. Thanks for writing it!

    The Joni Journey

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  7. today I am very much feeling like "I never get a break." My little is only 10 weeks old and some days are just so overwhelming. I need to remember to slow down & enjoy this time with her; and to be grateful that I have the ability to stay home with her.

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  8. This inspired me! I may not be a mom, but your words meant a lot! Happy {almost} Friday!

    http://mycreativeroots.blogspot.com/2014/03/its-little-things.html

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  9. I love this! I think that's a great revelation to have - and yes, I think changing the terms changes a lot! This is something I'll be mulling over this week. Thanks so much for sharing!

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  10. Oh, yes please! My heart needs so much grace in this area, thank you for sharing that! Struggling with playing single-mom while my husband works 24 and 48 hour shifts, I need a perspective shift!

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  11. Beautiful. God has been dealing with me in the same way. This precious gift of motherhood was never intended to be an anchor that weighs us down. ..

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  12. love this! such a great way to think, thank you!

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  13. Thank you for being real. My son is 2 1/2 and more and more I'm feeling as if it is a duty. His smile lights up my world and I got goose bumps reading this and remembering that he is truly a miracle that God has blessed me and my husband with.

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  14. I try to think of parenting as a gift. We have behavioral challenges at home related to autism. And yet I find so much joy and happiness in our home. Admittedly finding joy in the hard weeks can be very wearing (whether is illness or bad weather) oh and I think Mom-breaks can be a very good thing :)

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