fear.

My toughest struggle in this pregnancy so far as been fear. 

{7 week bump}

Fear of miscarriage. 

That my baby isn't growing right. 

That I might not be doing everything right to help this little one develop. 

Fear of the unknown, where I'll give birth, where we'll be in the next few months and years. 

I've never felt so fearful as I have in the last 7 weeks since we found out we were pregnant. It all really boils down to the loss of control. I can't control how my baby is growing, what will happen over the next 27 weeks or how my body will react. I can't control my husband's orders, when we have to leave loved ones here in Hawaii or which state I'll get to have my baby in. Rarely in my life have I been so out of control of the circumstances. 

And it's been stretching me. And I've had to learn a lot about leaning on God. Because I have no control, but He has every control over each minute detail of my life (and yours). Several weeks after we found out about our baby, it dawned on me that I could potentially continue in this pattern of fear for the rest of my life and my baby's life. I realized that even if every detail of my pregnancy went smoothly, that it wouldn't stop there. I could fear for my child's life even after birth, when I have even less control, and I know that I don't want to live a life of fear. 

If my Father cares about the sparrows that flit around outside my studio window, why do I find it difficult to believe that He is caring for our little one and that He is perfectly crafting plans for us? The thing is, I know this Truth in my head but sometimes it takes a lot of work for that to penetrate to my heart of hearts and to affect the way I view my circumstances. Lots of memorizing and re-reading Bible verses, long conversations with God and with Chris. And I think it's going to just be a continual struggle to cast aside fear and take on the peace that God wants so much for me to be covered in. 

Do you struggle with fear? What are some ways that you personally find helping in choosing peace? 

lindsay

aloha style: i've got the monday... purples?

cardigan:: {stolen, er borrowed from my sister's closet}

dress:: {o'neill}

belt:: {forever 21}

purse:: {navy exchange, bueno}

flats:: {probably payless, they're old!}

Monday Blues are kind of non-existent around here lately. 

Usually, it's tough to go back to a normal work week after a blissful weekend on the beach with Chris. Thankfully though, a few circumstances make it just a bit easier these past few months. Chris has a pretty low stress job now with bosses that are generally considerate and eager to help him learn. Compared to his last job on the ship, this is one is literally a God-send. Knowing that he's happy to go back into work on Monday makes the day so much easier on me. Also, each Monday, I gain one more week in my pregnancy! Today I'm 13 weeks and entering my last week of the first trimester! Looking forward to that each week makes Mondays pretty exciting. 

Hope you've been able to shake off a bit of the Monday Blues by now! What do you look forward to each week?

PS. This may be a new favorite outfit. It's so comfy, colorful and there's plenty of room for that baby to grow in there! 

lindsay

it's the little things:: ballet slippers & renewed creativity

Sometimes I have too many little things to fit into a blog post. This week is one of those times. I just feel blessed. Amidst some arguments with Chris, a crazy pregnancy moment, nasty headaches and the fact that our orders/plans for the next few years are once again up in the air-- there are so many little (and big!) things that have left me smiling this week. 

... a new favorite nail polish shade. Ballet Slippers from Essie is a sweet baby pink and I love love love it. 

... a brand new notebook (a gift from my brother-and-sister-in-law!) from wit and whistle. I love the anticipation of the blank pages and scheming up how I want to fill it.

... On a whim this week, I rearranged my studio. My sawhorse table is now right under the big window and I get so much light. I love it. This quick rearranging did a lot for those creative juices in my brain (ew, brain juices... sorry....). I haven't really been doing much crafting lately, but I have a few projects I'm working on now and it feels so good to be creative again.

Sometimes it just takes looking for the little things in life to turn a week around. What are your little things this week?

I'd love for you to link up below! Pleeeeeeease (please, please) pay attention to what you are linking up. I've had so many people link up completely irrelevant posts lately and it really confuses me. I knoooow you know how to read. ;)  I just wanna see the little blessings that made you smile this week.

party rules.

1. Only link to your specific blog post, not to your blog's main page. See here for more explanation. 

2. Grab a button and/or include a link back to this post so your readers can come see what the fun is all about! You can find the code for the button on the sidebar or on the "little things" page.

3. Make sure you visit (and comment) on other posts linked up-- what fun is a party if no one talks to each other? Make some new friends! 

4. I reserve the right to kick you out of the party if you aren't playing nice-- so make sure your post is relevant to this party and is actually a "little things" post (ie. no giveaways, random posts from last month, etc.).

win your choice of blowfish shoes!

You've seen me wear my Blowfish Shoes in a few of my outfit posts and if you're like me, you may have a looong wishlist of their gorgeous and comfy boots, flats and shoes! They've recently previewed a few of the gorgeous spring shoes and you guys-- you are going to love them. Bright colors and floral patterns-- you know I'm all about that.

Soooo, guess what? Blowfish is giving away a pair of free shoes (winner's choice!!) to one of you- my gorgeous readers! (Even my precious international readers, woo-hoo!) Wanna win? Keep reading to see how!

Mandatory entry::

Visit Blowfish Shoes and pick out your very favorite pair of shoes. Leave a comment here telling me of your choice. 

**Optional entries::**

'Like' Blowfish Shoes on Facebook!  (Leave a separate comment here for an entry.)

Follow BlowfishShoes on Twitter! (Leave a separate comment here for an entry.)

Giveaway closes on Wednesday, February 1 and winner will be announced Thursday! 

lindsay

oh baby:: 12 weeks!

Yesterday I might have had the most ridiculous pregnancy moment so far. Not only did I have a splitting headache all day, but all I could think about eating for dinner was a warm, fresh French bread loaf and some brie cheese. While Chris was at the commissary, I texted him a list of a few requested items, including that brie and bread. Apparently though, I sent it to my friend Michelle, who was not doing any sort of grocery shopping for me. Chris got home later and I went out to the car to meet him and he told me I hadn't texted him any sort of list. 

I burst into tears. And sobbed for a good 20 minutes. 

The ugly cry, friends. Over cheese. 

My poor husband. 

At one point he was concerned as I was sobbing and asked if I was okay, as I seemed to be in extreme pain. I just sobbed to him "No, I'm just dumb and pregnant!!" 

And so, the pregnancy hormones have definitely kicked in. And that is why my eyes may look a bit puffy in the photo above. I had just dried my tears 5 minutes before. 

Another "milestone" I've hit (besides the pregnancy meltdown) is that I've been wearing my Bella Band (and Be Band, from Target) every day. This thing is awesome. I can use it to hold up shorts and pants that won't even zip anymore and it's incredibly comfy. 

Despite some ups and downs this week, mostly I'm just joyful that we made it to 12 weeks and are this close to finishing up the first trimester! We already love this baby so much and can't wait to meet him or her.

lindsay

fresh paint:: vintage inspired florals and cupid's arrows

Ok, I promise I won't make it a habit to post two times day. I guess I just have a lot to say this week. :) 

Just wanted to pop in and show you the new paintings in my shop! Lots of Valentine's inspired arrow artwork and some sweet floral designs inspired by vintage floral fabric! I love envisioning the super happy homes these paintings will one day end up in.

Cupid's Arrows on 6x12 canvas

Cupid's Arrows II on 9x12 canvas

Tweet- Tweet in the Meadow on 8x8 canvas

I Picked You Some WildFlowers on 8" round canvas

I Love You 2x2 Magnet// Surf's Up 6x12 canvas

// Vintage Inspired Click-Click 8x8 canvas//Vintage Inspired Sew Cute 8x8 canvas

Stop by the shop to take a look and take 10% off with the code FRESHPAINT10 at checkout! 

lindsay 

aloha style:: just use your imagination.

headband, button down, skinny jeans:: {forever 21}

cardigan:: {who knows, a million years old}

flower pin:: {craftee mcgee}

Saul flats:: {c/o Blowfish Shoes}

Ack, these photos bug me so much. I gave the camera to Chris on the wrong settings so everything is way blown out and overexposed. I did my best to salvage them, but they look funky to me. Oh well, I'm not the kind of blogger to not publish photos because they aren't perfect. Things get screwed up sometimes and I always do my best to be real with you guys. Just use your imagination-- my button down is a really pretty shade of lavender and my cardigan is a soft cream. Thank goodness for Picnik though. 

Which is opening a whole can of worms there. I'm assuming most/all of you have heard of Picnik shutting down in April. So sad. I seriously do all my photo editing for my blog and shop on there. I feel like I need to go through and edit every single one of the photos on my computer and hard drive before April. I'm considering saving up for Photoshop since I haven't come across any comparable photo editing programs. You might be needing to use your imagination a little more once Picnik closes and my photos go back to the dark ages later this spring. 

Ahem. Anyway. Today I'm finishing up some Valentine's paintings and putting those babies in the shop. I also plan on chowing down on some scrumptious homemade macnut pesto pasta for lunch and maybe even showering somewhere in there. 

lindsay